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Web Log : Parents

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"Next to the right to life itself, the most fundamental of all human rights is the right to control our own minds and thoughts.  That means to decide for ourselves how we will explore the world around us, think about our own and other persons' experiences, and find and make the meaning of our own lives.  Whoever takes that right away from us, by trying to "educate" us, attacks the very center of our being and does us a most profound and lasting injury. He tells us, in effect, that we cannot be trusted even to think, that for all our lives we must depend on others to tell us the meaning of our world and our lives, and that any meaning we may make for ourselves, out of our own experience has no value."

John Holt
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It's not our job to raise responsible kids.  Our job is to consistently do the things that allow our kids to become responsible.

Dr. Foster Cline
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Today I saw a bumper sticker on a new gold Lexus.  It read CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.  The man behind the wheel was wearing a suit and tie.  Why, I wonder, did he feel the need to apologize for looking like an adult?  Why did he want to identify himself with the irresponsible and the children?  Perhaps it is because the irresponsible and the children have become the entitled in our society.  They have rights without responsibilities and when their actions cause problems, they claim youth as an excuse.

Youthfulness is held up as a worthy goal, as illustrated by a current bestseller, YOU STAYING YOUNG; THE OWNER'S MANUAL FOR EXTENDING YOUR WARRANTY.  In the past, the goal of youth was to become mature, and being a responsible adult was the reason for work and study.  Adulthood was the reward, the time when we could operate with autonomy, making our own decisions and reaping the rewards of good ones and paying the cost for bad ones. Good or bad, we learned from our experience.
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In law it's called adverse possession.  It describes the way that  rights accrue through regular or customary use of something.  If you drive on your neighbor's road every day as a shortcut to your house, and he doesn't complain, after a certain amount of time you are legally entitled to do that.  In the same way, we let others adversely possess our time and energy.  No one else volunteers to make the coffee for the office, so we do it every day for a week.  The second week comes around and everyone looks at us when the coffee is not made. We need to renegotiate this unspoken contract as quickly as possible, before it becomes a matter of adverse possession.
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We believe in books.  Somehow we want to make childhood better, and we believe that a book given at the right moment can work magic in a child's life.

Ann Schlee 
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If you love the language, the greatest thing you can do to ensure its survival is not to complain about bad usage but to pass your enthusiasm to a child.  Find a child and read to it often the things you admire, not being afraid to read the classics.


Robert Macneil, WORDSTRUCK:  A MEMOIR.
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Author and teacher Jack Kornfield said, "Words have the power to destroy or heal.  When words are both true and kind they can change the world." Use the power of words in your parenting.
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                                           A Fun Game for the Car

Lift feet when crossing bridge or tracks.
Make a ding-ding sound when bike is spotted.
Say pee-yoo when garbage truck passes.
Say wee-yoo when siren passes.
Make screeching noise when car brakes.
Pull air horn when trucks pass.
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Educator John Holt often said that it is more important for parents to like their children than to love them.  Parents who are aware will find this more and more true as their children grow. A well-loved but untrained child becomes someone whose company you avoid.  A well-liked child makes you seek out his company. 
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